Monster

Every now and then I get some pretty weird looks in the grocery store, at the mall etc.

One day I was out with someone else and it happened. Everyone stopped, looked at me, rolled their eyes.

M:"I hate it when they do that."
Whoever it was said: "Do you always call him that?"
M: "What?"
W: "Monster."

Ohhh - you see, when Simon needs to be called back I'd been yelling, "Hey Monster, come back here." And even though it was a sing song "reminder" call - not a harsh yelling yell - I'm still calling my kid Monster. Though never "a monster."

I'm going to do it again. I often do. But there is a reason. My father.

My dad is the kid that would have resulted if Bill Murray, Steve Martin, Robin Williams and Fred G. Sanford (yes I know he's fictional) had participated in some crazy genetic splicing experiment. He is forever making up a nickname, saying or doing something crazy, packing his family in the car to go and get a "cold drink." They come back home six hours later after having visited the Kansas border "just for fun." (There's another post right there)

First, he went through the B phase. My stepmonster's maiden name started with a B and is difficult to spell or pronounce. It is a Norwegian mess. So, he called her Ms. B. That lead to JilB, JakB everything with a B.

Several years ago, we were in the -ster phase. Jil-ster, Joe-ster, Jake-ster, etc. Well, you CANNOT get Simon-ster to come out of your mouth. It sounds like Si-monster. Viola. The evolution of a nickname.

I blame Bill Murray.